Like a child, I went on a tram ride

So the other day I was in the city running some errands including returning a novel that was missing 50 pages (weird!).  I was kind of bored after achieving my weak ass goals, but not ready to return home yet.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, I decided that I would take a tram ride from the city all the way to the end of the route and back again.  Choosing route 59 to Airport West seemed like a good way to check out parts of the city I have never seen.  Here's how it unfolded.

Once I boarded the tram at Elizabeth and Collins Streets, I was surprised at how full it was at about 3pm.  Also I noticed that from the half of the tram I could see, I was a about a 3:1 chance to win a game of spot the round eye.  Now I'm just making an observation, not insinuating anything here.  This was not a persistent feature of the passenger mix across the whole journey.  Other passenger types I got to enjoy was the girl who talks the entire tram ride to her non-replying boyfriend (she had a large coffee in hand), schoolboys (they reek like the dog pound) and the smart arse schoolboy who has to try and piss the driver off by pressing the door buzzer as many times as possible at each stop to the point where the doors freeze.  No crazies or drunks.  First time for everything on a full tram!

It was nice to ride past Victoria Market and realise that not very far out of the CBD, most of the buildings were only two or three stories tall.  Looks like a good area to maybe live in as the tram heads along Flemington Road toward the hospital precinct.  Nice old houses, wide streets.  Probably costs a mint.  Further out I got to see what Essendon, Niddrie and Moonee Ponds look like.  Finally they stopped being fantastical places that exist only in conversations.  Essendon and Moonee Ponds looked like fairly nice places.  Niddrie looks like a bucket of shit - maybe it will be the next Brunswick in the property game?  Oh and what you see of Airport West also looks like a bucket of shit.  I can't even recommend it as a parking destination.

My favourite part of the day was on the way back into town when five ticket inspectors got on board.  Why five?  Are they expecting to have some dance crew step to them like in the movies?  At this point there were more Yarra Trams employees on board than passengers.  Anyway, once I pulled my earphones out and realised the guy wanted to see a ticket, I opened my wallet and started to pull out my myki.  Inspector man didn't even wait to see the whole card before saying, "that's fine" and wandering off.  No way to check that it wasn't validated.  Who pays for trams, honestly?  So the lesson of the day was that five gestapo can't even check if you've voluntarily activated your myki on a tram.  The combination of myki and ticket inspectors seems to be an absolute winner for freeriders like me.  It's disturbing that $1.3billion buys such a retarded system. 

Don't ever feel guilty about not paying for tram rides!  It's not your fault it's so easy.

Personally I think Yarra Trams accruing large losses will be the only way to remedy the system.

Social Engineering or Just Stupid?

Please read this article from today's Herald Sun:

Men banned as Muslim women win council backing Paul Tatnell

MAN bans are spreading as two more council functions are declared off-limits because it is "not appropriate" for men to mix with Muslim women.

And in a surprise twist, VCAT backed the latest bans, declaring there was no discrimination and councils no longer needed to apply for exemptions.

The Darebin City Council ban will be in force for a music concert to be held in December, while another female-only event to mark the end of Ramadan was cancelled last week. The council sought the bans because it was "culturally inappropriate for young women to participate in recreational activity with males present".

But Ratepayers Victoria president Jack Davis said the bans were "another case of segregation".

"I think it is totally wrong. I think it's ridiculous and I do think it is discrimination, and it goes against what the average ratepayer wants," Mr Davis said. "We are seeing more and more of this kind of stuff."

Moreland council recently banned men from a dance event while Monash council put up curtains at a public pool so Muslim women could have privacy during a female-only exercise classes.

Darebin Mayor Diana Asmar said: "The December event is a 10-week workshop series that teaches young women DJ-ing skills. The program culminates in a social event that the young women plan and run themselves." "Darebin's approach is to always identify barriers to community participation and address them," she said.  Darebin council, with the support of the Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission, originally asked VCAT for an exemption under the Equal Opportunities act so it could have women-only events.  VCAT ruled the events would not discriminate against anybody and special exemption was not needed.

An Equal Opportunity spokeswoman said the decision meant "organisations do not have to go through a formal VCAT hearing to put in place practices to assist groups to achieve substantive equality".

A spokesman for the Islamic Council of Victoria, Nazeem Hussain, said the Darebin decision was not "controversial or surprising in the slightest".

I want to take this article and turn it on it's head.  I have no problem with any group of women having a women only party for any reason - so long as when men do the same they aren't pilloried by the feminist mafia.  Not knowing much about Muslim culture I'm not sure about what is and is not considered appropriate behaviour, but planning a social event in Australia that leaves out males does seem a tad odd.  The pool with curtains seems to be a reasonable idea as it is only necessary during the affected class.  All that culture stuff aside - the REAL question here is why is a local council organising this sort of thing?  It is an absolute waste of taxpayers' money.

Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, governments do not need to and should not organise and pay for either social events or barely useful short courses.  Governments should be providing the infrastructure for community clubs to run their own functions.  By this I mean that councils should maintain ovals for sporting clubs and provide club rooms or libraries with meeting rooms for chess or book clubs to use.  A local council does not then need to add education and socialisation to its agenda.  They really should operate under the "if you build it they will come" principle.  Either that or stop bleeding the ratepayers.

If a community can't figure out how to organise its own social events then it is probably a doomed community anyway.  Best to let it whither on the vine.  No need for some government to try to prop it up.

Women who have fought for equality and opened up clubs such as the VRC and MCC to female memberships should also be concerned.  Local councils are undermining their efforts and will gradually bring back segregation if not checked early and firmly.

Lastly a side note to the whole thing.  If Muslim women aren't supposed to attend functions with men, one has to ask whether a 10 week disk jockeying course is really appropriate behaviour also?  Last time I checked there was Fernwood Gyms, the Lycaeum Club and perhaps one other women's only club around town.  Not too many DJ gigs going at any of those!

Fast and Furious 5

OK another movie review for you folks.

If you haven't seen Fast and Furious 5, you should.  It is, by a good margin, the best of the Fast and Furious series.  Don't be put off by the fact that Paul Walker couldn't act dead if you shot him in the face or that Vin Diesel is only slightly more life-like than your average department store mannequin.

This movie is a great merger of the action sub-genres of heist and chase.  Dwanye 'The Rock' Johnson is the super cop chasing our favourite fugitive protagonists who in turn have decided to go head to head with Rio De Janeiro's barrio kingpin.

I can assure you that there is precious little time wasted on character development in this movie.  It has as many characters as Ocean's 11, but few have much to say.  The line, "I had a life before I knew you." is used both for comedic purposes and to cover the lack of depth for most of the characters.  This movie is all about cars and stunts with the predictable cheesy and corny lines to accompany crashes and races.

Whilst I had offered nothing more than back-handed compliments to this movie, it is very entertaining.  The director, Justin Lin, keeps it moving at a good pace, whilst the script and locations allows for some great car and foot chase scenes.  It is a simple story well done. The combination of stunts and CGI is good as it keeps a degree of realism to the movie.

Next time you want a night off and some brain candy, give this movie a look - unless you don't like car chases!

Level crossings and PSOs on Melbourne's rail network: what do they have in common?

A few months ago the Committee for Melbourne announced via press release that it would probably be a good idea if the private sector was allowed to help remove some of Melbourne's level crossings.  During the same period much press has been given to the Ballieu government's plan to have Protective Services Officers (PSO) at every train station and their need for training and toilets.  Much like the gang in the sitcom It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I want to combine the two ideas.

Firstly, some background.  The Committee for Melbourne is 'an apolitical organisation that looks strategically at issues that impact beyond the short term electoral cycles. The Committee brings together Melbourne’s most influential businesses and organisations to work collaboratively to enhance Melbourne – economically, socially and environmentally.'  They have been involved in projects like the Citylink freeways and the creation of the city circle tram.  In June they announced that removing Melbourne's 172 level crossings at an average cost of $100million was likely to need the private sectors help.  Removal of level crossings is seen as a major step in increasing rail service frequency and alleviating road traffic congestion around points of intersection.

PSOs form part of the Ballieu government's law and order agenda.  They were promised pre-election as a means of combating violence and graffiti at and around railway stations.  The use of PSOs to create confidence and safety around the rail network is a good idea as this city becomes more reliant on rail travel.  In the course of considering the roll-out of this program, it was realised that the PSOs would need to be able to perform bodily functions whilst on shift and that there would need to be working toilets at railway stations.  The problem is that many stations do not have working public toilets and a few do not have toilets at all.  They have been locked up and not maintained for so long that major works may be required at some locations.

Of the fifteen or so level crossings that I know well, most have an adjacent railway station.  So let's combine the two problems.  To put the railway line under the road will require rebuilding the train station where it is adjacent.  For the private sector to invest $100million to solve this problem for the taxpayer they will want to build a bit more than just a train station on the available area.  So I say let them have the rights to build shops or apartments above or in front of the station.  Give them a 99 year peppercorn lease.  Make sure that they build sufficient car parking and public toilets for the PSOs.  Stipulate that they station must be well lit and have multiple entry points.  Add lease clauses for recycling bins if you think it's important, but get the ball rolling on some redevelopment.

Obviously grade separation and rebuilding of railway stations takes a lot longer than renovating some bathrooms, but level crossings and the awful old and tired stations have got to go.  Commuters deserve better and would love to have PSOs patrolling clean, new, 21st century railway stations.  Dear Ballieu government, it will be a vote winner!

Cowboys and Aliens

Why this movie has a rotten tomatoes score of just 45% boggles my mind.  Independence Day has a score of 60%.  They are both about alien invasion and saving the world.  Cowboys probably has a better cast.

Daniel Craig is the bewildered hero, Harrison Ford and Sam Rockwell co-star with Olivia "I'm in everything in 2011" Wilde is the female lead.  John Favreau directs so Cowboys and Aliens rolls along at a decent pace and has ample comic relief.  The movie is called Cowboys and Aliens, so I don't know what sort of screenplay people were expecting.  It's a fairly standard alien invasion plot, just set back in the wild west.

Favreau combines CGI and some awesome horse stunts to give the actions sequences as realistic a feel as possible.  I reckon they managed to get every kind of horse stunt possible into this movie.  Congratulations to the wranglers!  Also there is plenty of homage paid to the western genre and the urge to have the hero imitate Indiana Jones and not leave his hat behind no matter the situation was clearly too strong to resist.

Cowboys and Aliens is very enjoyable and is certainly on a par with Independence Day.  Watch and enjoy.